Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
