You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
