So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
