I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
