thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
PANTIES FOUND
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