Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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