I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
