maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Im part way to drunk.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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