I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
