Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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