Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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