So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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