Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
