yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
