You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
