Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
