She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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