i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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