Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
