i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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