If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
