drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
