Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
