my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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