The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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