No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just had sex on a roof
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
