Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
