her vagine was all disorganized.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
