She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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