I'm really into asian looking animals
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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