Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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