Christians are straight up FREAKS
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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