i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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