Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
