Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
