i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
