I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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