dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
