I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
