I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
