just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
