I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
