Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
