And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
