we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
