Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
