the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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