I want to make a zoo with you.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
