pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Farmville is her only friend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
