when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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